In The Shadow Of The Moonlight
by Jade Storms
Summary: Mac visits his wife's grave, and discovers his true feelings...Rating just to be safe. Oneshot.


**Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing, althought I wish I did...**

It was a cool night.

For such a harsh summer, New York City had finally simmered down to nice, cool Autumn weather. The perfect evening for a walk with someone you loved, to hold hands and smile and laugh. But for Mac Taylor, it was very different. Tonight, he was visiting his wife's grave.

He had waited until the sun dipped below the horizon and the only light left was dim and somewhat romantic. Claire had loved evenings. And now, as he walked quietly into the cemetery and found his beloved wife's grave, he felt his heart ache a little more.  
_Claire Taylor_. He ran his fingertips across the name, heaving a great sigh as he looked up to the stars. "Why God, why?" He whispered. Why had God taken the only thing that had mattered to him? But he hadn't come here to get angry for something that could never be erased. No, he had come here to.. To talk to his wife.

"Hi, baby." He whispered, touching the grave and tracing the letters. "It's been awhile." Yes, it had been awhile. He had been busy with work, paperwork, trials and.. Peyton. Yes, he couldn't help but feel a little guilty. He'd felt guilty with Rose, he was feeling guilty with Peyton. But he liked Peyton. Really, really liked her. She brought out a side in him hardly anyone saw. But at the same time, it was stressful. Seeing her at work gave him a little less space. Don't get him wrong, he loved being with her, but there comes a time when one just wants to be alone. And these past five years, he'd found that solace at work. He could get lost there, forget things and possibly even feel better. And Peyton made him feel better, but it also wasn't healthy being together 24/7.

"Listen to me," He chuckled, smiling slightly. "I'm worrying to much again, aren't I?" He could just see Claire smiling and nodding. Giving him a small scolding and telling him everything was going to be fine and to stop worrying. His smile faded quickly as memories came flooding back and he put his head in his hand. "God, I miss you, Claire." He whispered huskily, fighting the tears entering his eyes. "It's.. it's been so hard.. I wish.. I wish I'd never let you go to work that day. I should have.. I should have taken the day off and we could've gone into the country.." He suddenly slammed his fist into the ground, sliding to sit on his knees. He took a deep breath, calming himself. "I love you so much." He rubbed his eyes and cleared his throat. "I talked to your son. He uh.. He'd been following Stella. Saw her dropping of my birthday present and thought it was you." The wind had picked up a little bit in the large, green cemetery. The stars shone a bit brighter and he could hear the wind chimes on a nearby tree. It comforted him a little bit.

"And uh.. I tried reaching out to him. I really did. But…" He sighed. "And.. I'm seeing someone. Her name's Peyton and she.. She works in the morgue.." Why did he suddenly feel so stupid? "I.. I think you'd like her. She's sweet, nice, caring.. A lot like you." He winced. No, Peyton was not like Claire. No one was Claire, and no one ever would be. "I.. I didn't mean it like that, Sweetheart.." He shook his head, chewing his bottom lip as he stared at the moon. "And uh.. Stella's dealing with the whole.. Frankie thing okay now.. Something's up with Danny and Lindsay and uh.. That's about it."

Stella. He hadn't thought about her for awhile because.. Well, Peyton. In a way he felt torn, because he had feelings for Stella that were a little more than friends. But she was still scared, he was with Peyton..

"What do I do, Claire? Huh? Who do I pick? I like Peyton. We're great together. But.. I think I love Stella." He couldn't believe those words had just come out of his mouth. Had he really just admitted he loved Stella? Sure, he loved her as a friend. But did he love her like.. That?

Smiling he looked at Claire's grave again. "You planned this didn't you?" He laughed. "I love Stella. I love Stella.." It seemed so clear now. He blinked.. Wait a second. He was with Peyton. And while he was in love with Stella.. This was sticky to say the least. But he knew now what he had to do.

His cell phone rang, muffled from deep in his pocket. He got it out and without checking the display answered it. "Taylor."

"Mac? You okay?"

His smile widened as he heard Stella's voice. "Yeah.. I'm just fine. Just fine."

_-Fin-_

**_Author's Note: This is just a story I did after watching the very first episode again.. Reviews and no flames please!_**


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